"Well, this is news to me!"🙈

Something that deeply affected me for some time is my memory. I stopped speaking about it because I was told that by acknowledging it, I would be making it my reality, or that I shouldn’t say certain things because I haven't been medically diagnosed. I do understand the power of our tongues, but I weakened my intuition by putting a "think positively" band-aid on the issue.

I'm aware that many people can't remember things from their childhood. That's normal. My issue was that I drew a blank for recent experiences, even while looking at photographs. My logical side would always try to make sense of it. I'd think, "Maybe it wasn't important enough in my life”, or “maybe I'm being protected from something..." 😕

There are many instances when I'm with family or friends and they're reminiscing about a moment we shared. I’d often find myself sitting in silence, just trying to remember. I'd say, in my best Caymanian accent, "Well this is news to me!"😂. Sometimes they are so shocked that I don't remember, but they're always willing to fill me in. Bless them!🥰

Some simple memory lapses don't really bother me, such as not remembering much from any school I've been to, nor my teachers' names (except like 3 total). But there was a moment that sent me into a spiral - Feb 2022_.. It was when I didn't remember that one of my tios (my uncle) had passed away. I was going through family photos as I usually do, and I couldn't remember the last time I saw him. I avoided asking my mom. I started looking through my family group chat for confirmation. Once I realized he had passed, it hit me HARD because his death DID affect me when it happened! I went to his funeral. I had planned a carnival experience with him in mind as a way to honor him and my family... LIKE!?? I knew I had to confront this.

I went to my room and I CRIED out to God asking Him to help me! Coming from someone who wasn't able to cry for longer than 5 seconds, this was cathartic and unlocked something in me, finally. I genuinely asked God to heal my mind and heart. I declared that I wanted to fully process my experiences and emotions. The work for my soul had begun. During this time-frame, I wrote down “return to Eden" in my notes. 💚 I didn't understand the deeper meaning of that, but I do now.

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Researching my family tree was the first thing I was led to do. I met up with many of my aunts and uncles. It was such a blessing for them as well! We got to the roots! Documenting their stories brought me so much joy. I developed a deep appreciation and understanding. Even though I’ll forget the details again, the value lies in us connecting and documenting. As I continue my walk, these conversations expose the areas to renounce, individually and for our bloodline. I get to step into the battlefield on their behalf. I've taken authority over anything that silenced me and prevented me from properly processing what I've experienced, and have now extended this freedom to those around me.

🌻 If you're struggling with your memory, consider journaling. Connect with people you trust to share details without bias, and seek God (tip: seek God first😉). Ask the Lord to align and fill you with His Holy Spirit, so that the spirit of confusion no longer has an entry point into your life. It's an ongoing process.

As I journey back to Eden, I can laugh at my forgetfulness, trusting in God's timing for revelation. Through faith, we rewrite our stories, one memory at a time.

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^{🖋️ From prayer to pen, from pen to proclamation.}

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_{2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV):}

_{For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.}

_{As the light of God fills more of an individual, Satan's darkness is progressively driven out. This process of sanctification is ongoing, probably until the day we die. So even though we deal with an issue on one level, years later we may come back and deal with it on an even deeper level. We are healed in layers.}

_{- Prayers that Heal the Heart : Prayer counseling that breaks every yoke by Mark & Patti Virkler}

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Self-Reflection Prompts

1. ^{What is your relationship with memory—do you find yourself focusing more on what you can’t remember or on the memories you cherish?}
2. ^{Do you believe that some things are forgotten for a reason, or do you find yourself searching for lost memories in an effort to make sense of your present?}
3. ^{Are there parts of your life you find yourself intentionally forgetting or choosing not to remember? What motivates that choice, and what might you gain by confronting those forgotten moments?}
4. ^{How do you experience time—do you tend to dwell in the past, live in the present, or look toward the future?}
5. ^{Do you believe that healing requires remembering, or is it possible to heal without confronting every forgotten wound? How do you navigate the balance between re-experiencing past pain and moving forward without being defined by it?}
6. ^{In what ways do you think God might be guiding your process of remembering or forgetting? What spiritual insights have emerged from your moments of forgetfulness or revelation?}
7. ^{In what ways do you channel your emotions and experiences creatively—through writing, art, photography, or other forms?}

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