The Power of Words We Don't Question

Recently, someone made a passive joke, calling me a horrible friend. They said I’m too isolated and I don’t check on them enough. Though it was said with a laugh, the words still stung. I started to wonder, Maybe they’re right.....& then bring on my defensiveness. I thought, well why do they never check in on HOW I'm doing? Why is it always about how I show up for them? Then I realized my heart started to harden so I held that thought captive and threw it out quick quick! The best thing I could really do was ask them more questions and see if they are open to a deeper discussion of each of our needs, or if it was just an abandonment wound speaking lies through them.

‍When someone labels us, even in jest, those words can begin seeping into our hearts, quietly becoming part of how we see ourselves or them. If we're not careful, we make silent agreements with them and start to move in tandem.

When a critique is cloaked in humor, it can shut down any chance for real conversation. It leaves us feeling misunderstood and, often, unmotivated to try to connect further. What if we approached each other with more curiosity and compassion?

A simple, honest conversation could open the door to understanding, allowing us to find common ground where both parties feel valued.

Words carry weight, but we have the power to decide which ones we allow to shape us or our relationship to others.
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Colossians 3:12-13: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
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Self-Reflection Prompts

1. ^{How do you define friendship? Are your expectations shaped by your needs, or do they consider the differences in how others may connect?}
2. ^{What labels have you unconsciously accepted from others words or actions towards you, and how have they shaped your self-view?}
3. ^{How do you distinguish between playful humor and harmful critique in your relationships? Are you willing to challenge them with love?}
4. ^{What words or labels from others do you need to release}
5. ^{In what ways do you expect others to show up for you? Do you communicate those needs directly?}