A Night to Remember: Lessons on Love and Restoration

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Today is Mother's Day and I'm overwhelmed.

Last night, I had the privilege of attending a dinner for the Boys to Men organization, and let me tell you, it was an experience like no other. The room was filled with powerful moments that moved everyone to tears—no one left with dry eyes.

One of the most touching parts of the evening was an activity where boys stood with a rose in hand and spoke directly to their mothers (or grandmother, sister, teacher) seated next to them. They began with, "I love you because..." and finished it with their own heartfelt words. Some boys brought humor, while others displayed raw vulnerability, even choking on their words. But that wasn’t a sign of weakness—it was a mark of strength. The act of using their voices, of openly expressing their feelings, was a major step in healing and transforming their relationships.

Organizations like Boys to Men are essential, guiding young men through mentorship, community, and vulnerability. They help teenagers discover their purpose, founded on Christian principles, with real-life applications that create lasting impact.

The key speaker was a young man by the name of Ezra, who spoke a powerful message to the boys in attendance. He spoke about his mother's drug addiction to crack cocaine, and how it affected him growing up. His words were heavy with emotion as he recalled the deep hurt, resentment, and even embarrassment he felt as a child. Ezra’s mother was seated at our table, and when he began speaking about her, the weight of those years seemed to pour out of her in tears. Someone around her held her, and in that moment, I was reminded of how crucial it is for us to have people who support us, even in our brokenness.

Ezra spoke honestly about how his anger once led him down a dark path, arrested three times and nearly falling into a life of crime. But there was a turning point: he realized he couldn't help his mother if he was locked away. And just like that, his life began to change.

Through all the pain, Ezra still held onto the good moments with his mom, like her being his loudest cheerleader, her calling him her "baby” even as he grew older, and her nuggets of wisdom, all while she was still struggling. Those glimmers of her true nature helped Ezra see her for who she really was. He held on to those truths about her character.

Much like Jesus looks beyond our shortcomings, he sees us as we are, who we could be, Ezra chose to speak life into his mother. Standing in front of a room full of people, he honored her. He told the crowd about her 10 years of sobriety, her strength, and her victories. It was a moment of pure restoration, a public declaration of love and grace. And when his mother joined him on stage, the embrace they shared was the culmination of years of pain, healed by love.

As I drove home, I reflected on what I had witnessed. I couldn’t help but wonder what I would have said if it were me holding the mic. “Mom, I love you because…” The words wouldn’t come. Not because I don't love her, but because we’ve never spoken to each other like that. So much goes unsaid in many relationships—so many blessings withheld because we don’t speak them out loud. Last night’s activity was more than a touching gesture; it was a way to cultivate love, to push past the fear of vulnerability and speak life into the people we care about. Instead of feeling discouraged by my silence, I just continued to reflect on the wonderful evening. I prayed for restoration in my relationships.

Instead of feeling discouraged by my silence, I prayed for restoration in my relationships and the courage to speak love into them. It made me think: How many of us carry the weight of strained relationships with our parents? How often do we withhold grace because of past hurt?

His mother was at the same table as us, and as he started to speak she couldn't hold back her tears. She was comforted immediately by the people around her, reminding me how important community is for us all. He spoke from his heart, and I could feel his honesty setting many people free in the room. He perfectly explained the complexity of the situation at hand, including his embarrassment and resentment towards his mother, and yet his deep loyalty for her as she was ostracized from society. He got into much trouble as a teenager defending her, despite his deep insecurities about her as his mother. He conquered many dark thoughts which would have led him to prison or in a grave. Having been arrested 3 times, he recalled his lowest point. He realized he could not help his mom if he does get locked up. This was a major turning point for him. His mother's loving and forgiving heart helped him to release the anger he held towards those who failed her and kept her in bondage with the drugs. Despite such a difficult upbringing, he still spoke so positively about the glimmers he had of her true nature when she was sober. He knew that those moments were truly her. He recalled how she would be the loudest cheerleader during sports day, and how she would always call him her baby, even as an adult now. Her moments of good counsel, even when she herself was struggling, helped him through many dark times. He held on to those truths about her character.

Many of us have strained relationships with our parent(s), but how do we shift our perspectives in order to offer them grace? How do we step up and speak love into them, even if we have not received it from them? Does that even feel like a possibility? There's power in acknowledging the brokenness of a situation, while also opening the door to a deeper understanding, patience, forgiveness, and grace. Ezra proved this in his own story. Let LOVE lead the way, even if it takes forever and a day to arrive at that state.
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Honoring and Forgiveness

• What does honoring your parents look like for you?
• What would forgiveness look like in your most difficult relationships?

Reflection on Missed Moments

• Think back to a moment when you wished you’d said something but stayed silent—what would you say now if you had the chance?
• Think back to a time when you felt proud of someone close to you—did you tell them? If not, why?

Courage to Speak Love

• What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to say to someone you care about, but never have? What holds you back?
• What’s the hardest part for you when it comes to speaking love out loud? How can you push past that fear?

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