There’s a unique tension in realizing someone has used your light, reputation, or your hard work for their own gain.

Don't get me wrong, there have been many situations in my life where I've gained positive outcomes by simply being in close proximity to others. In these cases, opportunities presented themselves and I've met wonderful people who have gone on to become some of the my greatest friends or mentors to this day. But there's something so malicious about people who craft elaborate plans in the background of how they may intentionally use your likeness or kindness for their own purposes. It consistently leaves me grappling with questions about why I allowed (or didn't see) certain things, but on the other hand, I'm just thankful that I always sleep sound at night lol.

In one instance, someone I cared for asked me to testify on their behalf during a court case of a robbery that was committed. I was young and fool, and I didn’t fully understand the weight of my involvement. The defense team leaned on my reputation as a “good girl”, college-bound, responsible, trustworthy. My mere existence became part of this person's freedom to a crime that was committed. Only since turning to God I'd realized how my likeness was used and my silence was an agreement.

There have also been situations in my business journey. One example is when a colleague strategically withheld information that my partner and I would have needed in order to make a sound decision about taking on a big commitment. Our company's legal standing and reputation worked to their advantage on an immigration level. By manipulating the situation, they secured a favorable status and gained freedom from a past situation they were in.

These two moments, though unrelated, taught me the same lesson: people are wired to seek freedom, but often they pursue it in ways that manipulate others and distort or withhold truth.

The Human Pursuit of Freedom

At our core, we all crave freedom, freedom from guilt, consequences, limitations, or anything that feels like a constraint. This longing isn’t inherently wrong. In fact, it’s a reflection of our design, but sin has warped how we seek it. People often reach for shortcuts.

Manipulation becomes a tool for borrowed freedom: using someone else’s light to "escape" consequences or gain approval. But here’s the truth that set me free from the bitterness of these experiences: Their motives are not my burden to carry.

Shining Anyway

It’s easy to grow bitter when someone uses you, to feel like their actions have diminished your worth or stolen something from you. But the more I’ve reflected, the more I’ve realized this: my light isn’t something anyone can take, it literally comes from God and is in abundance!

When someone borrows your light, it’s not your job to police their motives. That’s God’s territory.  God sees the bigger picture, and He will deal with hearts as He sees fit. Your role is to keep shining, to remain faithful, and to trust that God can redeem any situation, even one marked by manipulation.

Freedom in Christ

True freedom—the kind that actually lasts—is found in Christ. He offers freedom that isn’t borrowed or earned but freely given.  It’s a freedom that doesn’t depend on manipulating others or controlling outcomes. It’s a freedom rooted in grace, forgiveness, and the unshakable love of God.

‍Your light is a gift from God, and it’s meant to shine, regardless of how others choose to respond to it.

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Reflection Questions:

• Have you ever felt like someone used your kindness, reputation, or work for their gain? How did you navigate that situation?