Let’s get straight to it: Many people who repeatedly label themselves as humble or selfless, are often afraid to face their deeper desires—to be truly seen or to receive from others. The fear is rooted in rejection, so they control the narrative that feels safest. We all know humility is a virtue, but today's culture has completely reduced its meaning to an external representation of self. In one's desperation to appear humble, they show their pride. When labels like these are self-prescribed, are they really about a genuine posture of the heart, or are they more about managing how others see you? When it’s the latter, it becomes a brand rather than a true reflection of your heart. When it's a brand, it also becomes your box.

I’ve seen what happens when people gain some confidence or get a taste of external validation. There’s a shift in their personality, and suddenly, the humble brand starts to crumble. What they had wasn’t humility; it was insecurity. Then the internal battle ensues. They find themselves justifying a new, more daring version of themselves, still while trying to sprinkle in just enough of the old label to keep up appearances, lost between pride and people pleasing. And with all of that strategy and curation, it's still lacking true humility. It’s exhausting. Identity Crisis 101.

Tim Keller hits this on the nose when he talks about pride in Habakkuk 2:5 (watch full sermon below). The Babylonians were “arrogant and never at rest, greedy as the grave and as insatiable as death.” That’s what pride looks like—it’s never satisfied. People may put on the mask of humility, but deep down, it’s a restless hunger for more validation, more praise, more security. You can’t fake humility because eventually, it unravels.

This isn’t one of those posts where you start nodding your head while thinking of someone in particular. It’s a call for us all to look in the mirror. We’ve all placed labels on ourselves. We cling to roles like “the reliable one” or “the fixer” because they feel safe. But what happens when you start playing these roles with a resentful heart underneath? You harm your soul on a deeper level because you're lying to yourself. Theres a disconnect. Holding onto labels, regardless of how positive they may be to the world at large can be a hindrance when God calls you to step fully into who HE calls you to be and HOW he calls you to be. Tim Keller pointed out that pride sneaks in not just through obvious arrogance, but through insecurity too. Like the Babylonians, people often try to “clothe themselves with glory” to feel significant, but in doing so, they end up hollow inside, constantly striving to prove their worth. It traps them in a cycle of performance, and they end up chasing validation, not peace.

So, what’s my point? It’s really about letting go of the performances. Let your humility, your selflessness, whatever you self-identify as, be who you are naturally, not a campaign. Allow God to refine you wherever He’s calling you towards. Don't wear a gold-plated mask. Labels will mess with you—I know this from experience. Astrology once gave me a sense of identity. We'll say things like, “I’m just like this because I’m a Leo, Virgo moon, bla bla rising.” It feels safe for a moment, to feel understood, but they quickly turn into traps that keeps us from stepping beyond certain parameters. God sees the fullness of who you are, beyond any sign or role you can agree to.

Look at Peter—impulsive fisherman turned leader of the church. He didn’t let his past or others’ perceptions hold him back. He stepped into something bigger, even when it meant being misunderstood. If he had stuck to a brand as the “rebellious one that never listens to any authority”, he would have missed his calling to follow Christ, and we likely wouldn’t know Jesus in the way we do today.

So many labels are performative and are pride in disguise. Let go, and step into the fullness of who God made you to be. And NOoo He didn’t create you to be prideful, sinful, judgmental, insecure, nor rebellious—those are lies from the enemy to keep you in the flesh. What labels are you holding onto? What is causing an internal conflict therefore causing your mental health to be at risk? Where are you clinging to an old version of yourself because it feels easier or safer than stepping into the life God created for you?

You are more than the labels you’ve placed on yourself and stronger than the mask you hide behind. Drop the act, and let God show you the fullness of who you truly are.

Self-Reflection Prompts

1. ^{In what areas of your life do you find yourself managing people’s perceptions of you? How can you shift your focus to living authentically before God rather than performing for others?}
2. ^{In what ways have you mistaken people-pleasing for humility? How can you differentiate between genuine service and a desire to gain approval?}
3. ^{Are there roles or expectations placed on you by others that you’ve internalized, even when they no longer serve you? How might those expectations be keeping you from stepping into a more authentic version of yourself?}
4. ^{In what ways are you using people or situations to bolster your sense of worth rather than serving them out of love?}
5. ^{What would it mean for you to release control and trust in God’s validation rather than seeking approval from others?}