I wrote a blog post about how the enemy uses deception while also sprinkling a bit of truth in it (about 2 hours ago). It was the longest blog post I had ever written, and the web page suddenly broke😭. There were no wifi issues. The webpage just went blank while I was writing. Everything I had written from my heart, was completely GONE. I spoke about my father’s upbringing in Cuba and the deception used by Fidel Castro's regime to control the population. I spoke about how I was deceived in my early 20s through astrology and the effects of spiritual death, whether its through our own seeking, or through means of control from culture. And right as I was finishing the blog post and connecting the dots, the page broke.

I felt so much anger brewing within me. I blamed myself. Why did I not save a draft once I reached so far? Why didn't I write it out in my notes first like I always do? Why would the blog page randomly do that?!! Nothing made sense. I tried again, but I was trying to say the same things, in the same way. I wanted the same energy, the same breakthrough that happened while I was initially writing it. In my eyes it was so perfect, but I could not do it again. I put my laptop on the side, turned over in bed and just started crying.

Just two minutes later I thought to myself (while ugly crying😂) that I would brush it off. I prayed for a change of mind.  While praying, I realized that whatever words I used in that blog post, God is more than capable of providing me with new ones, with new insights, with new breakthroughs, when the time is right. I refuse to allow such a small setback to settle in. In all aspects of our lives, there are barriers or systems that frustrate us, but we must be willing to push past those things, especially when we have something placed in our hearts to do or share. How else will we persevere when a real tragedy happens? So I turned back to my laptop, and started writing. This post right here is what my heart is able to process in this moment. I feel a little better, and I'm better prepared for the next time my heart is ready to share. Small tings. We keep it moving!😉

Gracious Lord, I express my gratitude for the awareness You have given me and the capacity to shift my mindset. I am thankful for the ability to offer myself compassion and grace, especially during moments of frustration. I acknowledge and appreciate the strength and guidance You readily provide to those who earnestly seek You.

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EDIT: Click here for the post I was trying to make, posted 5 days later. Haha, I win!

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Self-Reflection Prompts

1. Have you ever experienced a situation where something you worked hard on was unexpectedly lost or destroyed? What thoughts, emotions, or actions arose within you?
2. What did you learn from that experience?
3. Are there any areas in your life where you tend to rely on your own strength and abilities without seeking God's help? How can you cultivate a greater dependence on God in those areas?
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